Rooting Out Rebellion – part 1

 

No parent ever sets out to raise a child who will rebel and yet rebellion happens so often, even within Christian homes with parents who desire for their kids to know and follow God.  Is there anything we can do to avoid having our kids rebel against our parental authority and against God?  First let’s look at what rebellion is:

 

Webster’s 1828 dictionary defines rebellion as open resistance to lawful authority, to revolt. 

 

Stormie Omartian in her book Power of a Praying Parent  says that “rebellion is really pride put into action.”

 

God’s Word tells us in 1 Samuel 15:23 “For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and insubordination is as iniquity and idolatry.”  In Proverbs 17:11, we find that “an evil man is bent only on rebellion.”  God hates rebellion.  As Christians, we teach our children to obey but the church has a problem.

 

George Barna, in his book Revolutionary Parenting, writes that not even ½ our young people (46%) believe that their religious faith is very important in their lives.  Six out of ten admit they live for things other than loving God with all their hearts, minds, strength, and soul.” Barna’s national surveys of 13 yr olds reveal that most of them think they already know everything of significance in the Bible (hence, they are no longer open to learning or actively studying the Scriptures). Also, most of them have no intention of continuing to attend a church when they are in their twenties and living on their own. (That is pride in action, wise in their own eyes!)

 

Barna also tells us these things about Christian youth:

  

   63% don’t believe Jesus is the Son of the one true God

   58% believe all faiths teach equally valid truths

   51% don’t believe Jesus rose from the dead

 

Many more statistics could be given about lifestyle choices these kids are making based on their beliefs and worldview.  Choices like premarital sex, drugs, alcohol, cheating, lying, etc.  and these kids are from Christian homes!  What is wrong?  Why is this happening?  How can we keep this from happening to our own children?  How do we keep our kids from rebelling?

  

First we need to realize that rebellion is not in a teen’s nature.  It’s human nature!  We all struggle with the desire to rebel.  We know our children have sinful nature’s.  (See Jeremiah 17:9, Romans 3:10, Romans 3:23, Ecc. 7:20, Isaiah 53:6, etc.!) We also know that God commands us to teach and train our children to obey.. ( See Deut. 6:4-7, Proverbs 22:15, Proverbs 22:6, etc.!)  The Bible gives us a road map to teach them and that is a reason for great hope!  But we must follow the map! 

 

As I prayed over my children and the threat of rebellion in their lives, I believe that God showed me from His Word 5 Reasons for Rebellion - five things that get to the root of the problem.  In my next few blogs, I will share these reasons and what we can do about them with you. 

Self-Control

Self-Control
     Why is self-control so difficult? Let's admit it, it's not only difficult for our children but it is difficult for us also! But God tells us in 1 Peter 1:13 to be self- controlled. If He tells us this, there must be a way. After all with God all things are possible. Luke 1:37 "For nothing is impossible with God."
God knew this would be difficult so He gave us a special gift to aid us, the Holy Spirit. Included in this gift is self-control. Galatians 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
     Therefore when we or our children are struggling with self-control our first action must be prayer. Ask God to help us and our child to display self-control. Then as a very practical and effective action we use what we refer to as "cross cross zip". This means your child folds their hands on their lap, cross their ankles and makes no sounds (zip their lips!). Start by teaching your child during a time of non conflict what cross cross zip means. You can start this with very young toddlers and continue to use it for as long as needed! Practice this! Let your child know this will be a direction you will use to help them gain self- control. Then the next time you see your child losing control, just gently tell them to cross cross zip. Be patient during the learning process. This is very effective because it can be used in most any place at most any time ie. back seat of the car, church, shopping cart, doctors office etc.... Use this consistently and you will find your child beginning to beautifully display the fruit of the Spirit, self- control.

Be Blessed~ Cheryl

Getting Wisdom through Failure

Teaching character to our children is not always easy and sometimes it can hurt.  It may not appear like training in the little things is anything more than about picking up toys, keeping track of their belongings and simple obedience - but the book of Proverbs is full of reasons why it is.  

     Proverbs 1:1-5 gives the purpose as this: The Proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel: To learn wisdom and moral instruction, and to discern wise counsel. To receive moral instruction in skillful living, in righteousness, justice, and equity.  To impart shrewdness to the morally naïve, and a discerning plan to the young person. (Let the wise also hear and gain instruction, and let the discerning acquire guidance!)

There is a stark contrast between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge fills the head....teaching wisdom fills the person with character.  That’s the ultimate goal in our parenting and what we all strive so hard to do!

Recently a friend of mine mentioned a difficult “character” event in their home. Their 4^th grade son, who gets straight A’s, received a behavior indicator for his math homework.  She mentioned that they had been working on organization with his schoolwork all year long.  This meant that although he usually finds his homework, it was not always turned in on time.  This failure was going to keep him from a big school award, which was a very tough lesson for him.  He was only 1 point off of qualifying for the honor.  She admitted, “Letting your kid fail is hard”!

Yes, it is!  

Allowing our kids to fail grows them in wisdom.  That’s not head knowledge, but heart knowledge!

     Proverbs 2:1 continues with this: My child, if you receive my words and store up my commands within you, by making your ear attentive to wisdom, and by turning your heart to understanding, … (5) then you will understand how to fear the Lord, and you will discover knowledge about God. (10) For wisdom will enter your heart, and moral knowledge will be attractive to you.  

Yep, that’s what we want!